Call Someone A Liar
What happens next? You know you will get a reaction and it might not be pleasant. Dishonesty is unacceptable and, worse still, it is a part of life. Name one person who has told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We like to think that we are honest and straight (not necessarily in the sexual sense) or maybe we want others to believe we are honest. Why?
Honesty is essential to being trustworthy and dependable, but name one person who is 100% honest 100% of the time. We like to think we are, but are we?
Let go of dichotomous thinking.
Things do not really have opposites. We could say that the opposite of black is white. The blackest black absorbs the most light, but there are blacks which absorb less and less, until we call it gray. There are many shades of gray, from dark gray to lighter and lighter, until we hit the range of whites. If you’ve ever done any digital art, you have seen that the range is nearly infinite. Your eye may not be able to differentiate the range of shades, one to the other, but it is mathematically measurable, which you can see as you slide on the scale of black, gray, and white.
What Can We Actually Observe?
This opens up a whole new can of worms in the world of truths and lies. Our eyes, our perceptions, our minds, our experiences, and even our intelligence come into play, but they are not scientifically or mathematically capable of perceiving and precisely defining all the concomitant nuances which exist. To avoid our drowning in the oceans of microcosms and macrocosms of the universe, we might step back a bit and try to be more objective and less subjective, to discover the profundity lying underneath or beyond the superficial.
Contractions Are Contracts!
There are some words, some contractions, we use every day, which may be the outer layer of some lies. These aren’t the lies we tell others, usually. These are the lies which we tell ourselves. They sound rational, plausible, and reasonable, but they aren’t. They also may be your way of avoiding uncomfortable feelings, so you put these thoughts or statements in front of yourself. What are they? “Can’t” is the main one. Some examples are: “I can’t do public speaking.” “I can’t sing.” “I can’t dance.” “I can’t draw.”
A closer truth might be along the line of “I won’t sing.” It means more specifically, “I will not try to sing because I might not sound good and I would be embarrassed if someone heard me and they would think that I am a bad singer and that I am stupid for even trying and I will feel bad about myself and I don’t like feeling bad about myself and there have been many times in the past that I felt bad about myself and I now avoid feeling bad about myself.” All of this may be under the surface of “I can’t sing.”
I’m Not A Singer
I won’t sing. Wait. Is that an absolute truth? What if you said, “I haven’t sung”? Are we getting closer? What if you said, “I haven’t tried to sing”? Maybe that is closer, but it still may not be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. How do we get to that? There is your conscious thought about this singing thing. You are aware of that, but you may not be thinking about the past and past experiences. Some of those may not be readily available to your conscious mind. Some thoughts, feelings, and ideas may be stored in a different compartment from the conscious mind, one you cannot access easily or maybe not at all. We can only deal with what we can know or discover or uncover.
The Whole Truth
How much of “the whole truth” must we know in order to act, to improve things, and to get into motion? All we need to know is where the lock is and where the key is. Is this true? No. We also have to know where the lock is, where the key is, and have that key in possession and how to put the key into the lock the right way and to turn the key the right way that unlocks the lock. The lock is, “I can’t sing.” The key is, “I can sing.” “I can sing” may feel like a lie at first but remember the vast range of the shades between absolute black and absolute white.
If you think you cannot sing like a professional, you may be right. If you think you never will be able to sing like a professional, you may be right. But “right and wrong” also has many gradients, repercussions, and ramifications you might not have seen before. There was a point in time that the professional singer whom you envision did not sing like a professional. Believe it. We have now entered the realms of faith and trust, when we can believe something we haven’t personally observed. Is it possible that this is true?
Where Do You Fit In?
Singers you love, admire, respect, or adore are people you may have placed on a pedestal, in your mind. The problem is that you may have made the pedestal surface too small and you have left no room for anyone else, including yourself. People prefer to be right instead of wrong. That’s just how we are. We like to win. We like to succeed. We also apparently like to think good things about ourselves. Since admiration is such a precious thing, we like to avoid not admiring ourselves. It hurts. It is not comfortable. It feels unstable. We like stability. There’s nothing wrong with admiring other singers but there is something wrong with using that to limit yourself and to lie about why you don’t sing as well as the other singers. How awful will you feel when you know you have surpassed one of your singing idols?
What Do You Know?
In life, we seek pleasure and we also seek to avoid pain. PPF. Pleasure, pain, and fear. Truth and lies. Some people will feel pain as they realize there were incomplete sentences prior to this one. In a push button society, we don’t have to be little stimulus-response machines. We can add ideas, thoughts, considerations, paradigms, value systems, all of which may also have a multitude of feelings attached to them. Everyone has his or her own and unique concept of what truth is. I would wager that scientists may have a much broader concept of truth, especially if their knowledge is vast and their experience is extensive.
When we get into trouble is when we mistakenly believe that we (or anyone) know all there is to know about anything. This is self-deception or ignorance or utter delusion. You may know all you need to know to function at the level at which you currently are. You also may have all the skill necessary at this time. You do your work, or you keep your job as long as you handle all that’s required of you, adequate to the demands of the boss and within the time frame allotted. Stability in your job is more pleasurable than it is painful, or you would leave eventually. Every singer you know or have seen also seek pleasure, seek to avoid pain, have a complex mind, and has a somewhat quantifiable amount of knowledge about singing and music.
Nothing But The Truth…
Truth is not always easy to see or to find. It may not be an absolute thing. Intelligence, knowledge, skill, experience, beliefs, and the perceptions of all our senses will affect how each of us sees, finds, or seeks truth. The meaning that we give things, which exists outside of the realms of truth and lies, is part of one or more values systems. Those “if, then” things we heard or made up on our own.
The meanings and the value systems may serve us or they may inhibit us from being more than we are or more precisely, stepping into all if who we are and walking in that existence. When you know the truth, the truth can set you free. I didn’t say it will. It can also stop you or squelch your action and thus your life. Look carefully and completely as you can and maybe you’ll lie less often to yourself.